Supporting someone living with depression

Depression is more than sadness. It is a persistent change in mood, energy, thinking and function that lasts weeks or longer, and it is treatable.

Signs to look for

• Low mood most of the day, most days
• Loss of interest or pleasure in things they used to enjoy
• Fatigue, slowed movement or restlessness
• Sleep changes, either insomnia or sleeping far more
• Appetite and weight changes
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Physical symptoms such as headaches or body pains without clear cause
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• Thoughts of death or suicide

What helps when you talk

• Ask directly and gently: “How have you really been?” then listen without rushing to fix it.
• Acknowledge what they say rather than correcting it. “That sounds exhausting” lands better than “but you have so much to be grateful for”.
• Be specific with offers: a lift to an appointment, a meal, a walk on Saturday.
• Stay in contact even when they do not respond. Withdrawal is a symptom, not a rejection.
• Be patient about recovery. Improvement is usually gradual and uneven.

What to avoid

Telling someone to snap out of it, comparing their situation to others who have it worse, or implying it is a spiritual or moral failing. These responses are common and they keep people silent.

Helping them get treatment

Offer to help book a consultation and, if they want, to go with them or sit nearby during an online appointment. Treatment may include talking therapy, medication, or both. If they start medication, know that it can take a few weeks to work, that side effects often settle, and that stopping suddenly is not advisable.

If there are thoughts of suicide

Ask directly. Asking does not plant the idea; it opens the door. Take any mention seriously. Stay with them, remove access to means where you can, and get help immediately from a health facility or crisis service. Do not promise to keep it secret.

Look after yourself too

Supporting someone is draining. Keep your own routines, share the load with others where possible, and seek support for yourself. You cannot sustain care for someone else while running on empty.